We've Come a Long Way, Emily Post!
November 4, 2003
The next time you're disturbed about the rude habits of people you see on the street (i.e. bellowing into cell phones, rattling windows with the heavy bass of their music while driving, bumping into people while rollerblading, etc., etc.,) you might take heart by recalling some of the following rigid etiquette rules of the early to mid 20th century, as laid down in a book called Etiquette by the famous etiquette maven, Emily Post (or Mrs. Price Post, as she called herself in the style of that male-dominated era).
After reading Post's book, I doubt that any of us would want to go back to her world. The title page gives a clue to the creaky contents: Etiquette--"The Blue Book of Social Usage," By Emily Post (Mrs. Price Post) Author of Children are People and The Personality of a House New Edition (Original copyright 1922).
Here's Post's take on entertaining at home:
"The Well-Appointed House--The House With Limited Service"
"The fact that you live in house with two servants, or as quite likely with only one, need not imply that your house lacks charm or even distinction; but, as explained in the chapter on Dinners, if you have limited service you must devise a systematic economy of time and labor or you will have disastrous consequences."
Good to know that guests might still like your home sans servants.
In one section of the book, Post answers etiquette questions people sent to her. My favorite is "How Do You Eat An Orange?":
"Must I eat an orange with a knife and fork? I like to cut a hole in one end and put a lump of sugar in, and suck the juice; but I didn't know if this was correct at a restaurant table."
To which Post replies, "Oh, dear! No! Do not suck an orange in a restaurant, or at table anywhere -- unless at a picnic. You can peel it and divide sections and eat it in your fingers; or cut it in half and eat with a spoon, or cut in any way you like best. My own favorite is to cut off the rind with a sharp knife then, holding the fork in the left hand, the knife in the right, cut the peeled orange crossways and cut it piece by piece and eat both with knife and fork."
Wish I could have seen both ways!
Post had inflexible opinions (and apparently limited imagination as well) regarding male and female behavior in the city and in the country:
"On the Street and in Public--On Country By-Paths"
"It is still impossible to imagine a lady as walking on a city street while either chewing gum or smoking. Nor does a gentleman walk with a lady on a city street and at the same time smoke. On the other hand, many things which are 'not done' in the city are permissible in the country, where a man's pipe, like his dog, is his inseparable companion. That a young woman's cigarette now may properly go along with the man and his pipe and his dog is now taken for granted in almost every community. But, for walking on the street in a city, the answer is still definitely No."
Still, it seems that some things never change, like an older person complaining about young people's behavior. Here's my favorite of Post's complaints:
"Telephoning... Our Poor Weak Younger Generation"
"It is not this book's intention to be intolerant of our younger generation, but if it is to be of any use as an aid to good manners, it must say what it can to make both boys and girls realize that it is not the feebly old or the weakly ill who call upon 'Information' to a degree that is literally crippling to the service. Investigation has proved that the principle offenders are the lazy young who have seemingly neither the strength of muscle nor the sense of fairness to lift themselves off their spines long enough to look up a number in a city telephone book; they ask 'Information' to do it for them."
Post also gives examples of how to write all sorts of letters. Here's a good one from "Uncle John," expressing gratitude for hospitality:
"Formal Correspondence From an Old Bachelor to a Young Relative"
"Dear Mary and John, Why do I like to stay with you -- because I love you both. But that is not quite enough. I love the other members of the family but I abhor staying with them. Either they fuss too much--or they rigidly exact that I force my lifelong habits into a pattern strictly theirs. But you have the art (the h is silent--maybe this is the whole trick) of effortless adjustments that are exceedingly soothing to the crotchets of
Your affectionate Uncle John." (p. 514)
Gee, guess who's inheriting Uncle John's money? But Mary and John probably deserve it for putting up with him.
To finish, here are Post's rules for secretarial etiquette:
"Etiquette in Business, The Perfect Secretary"
"The perfect secretary should forget that she is a human being, and be the most completely efficient aid at all times and on all subjects. Her object is to coordinate with her employer's endeavor, and not make any intrusions which would be more likely to affect him as hurdles than helps. She should respond to his requirements exactly as a machine responds to the touch of a lever or accelerator. If he says, 'Good morning,' she answers 'Good morning' with a smile and cheerfully. She does not volunteer a remark -- unless she has messages of importance to give him. If he says nothing, she says nothing, and she does not even mentally notice that he has said nothing. In fact, when she notices his preoccupation, she waits, if possible, holding back irrelevant messages until he has finished the letters he wants to dictate or whatever business it was that made him ring for her. Of course every man likes a woman who is beautifully neat, impersonally efficient, and polished, just as he likes a motor that is valve-ground and shining and ready to go any distance without boiling over -- or breaking down because of broken parts or rust. A successful personality has as its first attribute efficiency...."
That's enough of Emily Post. Me, I'm going to suck an orange now.
Reprinted with permission of Spare Change News, Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA.
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